Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Guide For Used Car Salespeople Everywhere

By Mak


It used to be that car sales was a quick, surefire way to achieve the American dream. Go back 20 or 30 years and youll find that selling cars was a lot different. Kids who dropped out of high school, as long as they had some people skills, could get a start in car sales and be making over $100,000 a year in no time. A popular joke on the subject went like this: A parrot enters a bar and lands on the shoulder of a rich-looking man.

The parrot inquires of the man, What is your IQ? The man answers, 170. The parrot wants to know, How many trials have you won this month? He flies away and finds someone who looks even wealthier. He lands on the shoulder of a woman dripping with diamonds and designer clothes. The parrot asks her, Whats your IQ? She answers, 180.

The parrot wants to know, How many operations have you done this month? The parrot flies off to find someone even wealthier. He spots a man in an expensive Italian suit, surrounded by bodyguards, next to his fancy sports car. Whats your IQ, rich guy? The parrot asks him. The man grins and answers, 80. The parrot has one question for the man: How many cars have you sold this month? Today, however, its rare to meet a salesperson making over $50,000 a year.

Honest dealers are hurting the unprincipled used car salesman by letting consumers do all their research and car shopping over the Internet and the phone, without ever coming to a used car lot. This makes it higher for top salespeople to earn a living. This might be the Information Age, but a car salesperson has to know how to turn that into a good thing for him. Consumers have access to more information now than before the Internet showed up, but no the problem is TOO much information! A salesperson that really wants to make the sale will know how to get around even the smartest Internet shopper.

Here are some of the things that you can do: 1) If they have a trade, go to all of the trade evaluation sites and find the one that has the lowest amount. 2) If they think youare priced too high, repeat tip one, but look for the highest value instead of the lowest for the car youare selling. 3) Send emails to everyone all the time. People love receiving emails from car salesmen. After you send the emails, call them and tell them you sent an email. They love this as well.

4) If they find something negative on the history report, search for articles that debunk the history reporting system and print them for the customers so they know that vehicle history reports are not accurate. 5) If the Carfax looks good, but the customer has an article that debunks the accuracy of a vehicle history report, point to the disclaimer and tell them that Carfax guarantees accuracy. 6) If they say that the Internet price was lower than the price you quoted, tell them that someone has been hacking into the system. If they are persistent, sidestep the question or switch them to a different car. 7) Have someone make a website that spreads rumors about your competitors. When a customer comes in and says they want to go to or have been to a competitor, show them the website you had created depicting the competitor as evil.

8) Use a fake name to post negative rumors about your competitors online. People often believe anything they read on the Internet, so go ahead and say that Dealer A runs a prostitution ring and Dealer B sells drugs on the side. Chances are, people will believe it. 9) Sign up with a free vehicle classifieds service and post cars for sale similar to yours, but at much higher asking prices. Be ready with copies of these ads to show to customers that think youre asking too much for your cars. 10) Any other objection relating to the Internet can usually be solved by maintaining that theres a really bad virus wreaking havoc online.

So cheer up my corrupted sales friends. Together we will sway the balance of power back towards the cause of profits and the fabled high life of lore. If you are an honest salesperson or a consumer, please disregard everything that you just read. It is written for entertainment purposes only.

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